Living with another human being can be a challenge. You don’t just get to live with the parts you like – you get the whole package, including the things you don’t like.
Personal responsibility
When you’re being treated in a way you don’t like, deciding how to respond can be difficult, especially when it happens a lot. You can’t control what the other person does – and trying to only makes things worse. What you do have control over is what you do. Violence or abuse in return will only make a bad situation worse. Learning to manage your own reactions can help create a better outcome in the long term, but it might not be easy. There is help available.
There’s another big question you might need to ask yourself – How much of what you don’t like the other person doing, is their reaction to how you’ve been treating them or the way you handle things? Changing your approach could have much more of an impact than you think. You won’t know until you genuinely make changes to your side of things first. Either way, when you take responsibility for how you act, it’s a way forward.
Taking the initiative
“Why should I have to change when she doesn’t?”. Deciding you’ll change “if my partner does” is a commitment to avoiding your own responsibility – and being stuck in the cycle of tit-for-tat. That’s a guarantee of more pain for everyone. One way out of the mess is to take the initiative to deal with your side of the situation. Doing the right thing regardless of what the other person is doing. At the very least, refusing to be violent or abusive is a start. It’s not about living silently with someone else’s abuse, it’s about being the best you can be, and leaving the other person to address their own issues.
Looking for solutions works better than blaming
Real solutions to relationship issues are solutions that work for everybody. That often means taking a long-term view. Dealing with the discomfort now, while you work on creating something that will work better for the future. There are no quick fixes, but there are ways to create a better life for yourself and the people around you. Get the support you need to build that future.
What does your love look like? … Read more >>